Is T-J being escorted stateside for you?
He is not being escorted here. We decided to travel there to "pick him up," so we could meet his foster family and see his culture and home country. As part of the new Korean laws, there is no longer an escort option as of this past spring. Escorting children stateside was part of Korean adoption for many years.
I thought T-J was coming home this fall? When is he coming home?
Good question! We were optimistic in thinking he would be home this fall, but we prayed we would be with him by his birthday. Well, that did not happen for a few reasons. South Korea issues Emigration Permission to each child. This is done in batches each month. For our agency, these batches are most commonly 1-3 children, maybe even 4 or 5 children a month. As these Emigration Permissions (also known as "E.P."s) were issued, T-J moved down the list all the way to about #4 for our agency. It was exciting to know he was so close to traveling but in August we received a call that he would not be coming home this year as the Emigration Permission quota had been filled. So now we wait for 2013 to start for batches of E.P.'s to be issued again. Once he receives his E.P. we will have to wait 1-2 months until we travel while he receives his VISA and necessary paperwork is done. Our guess is we will travel in late winter, or spring to Korea to meet our son and welcome him into his forever family.
Can you post a photo of T-J on here for us?
At this time I cannot. For safety and legal reasons, we are not to post his photo on social media. I have lots of photos though and carry them with me, so ask to see one sometime!
How old is he now?
T-J is 13 months old. His birthday was September 3rd, 2011. What's amazing is our application for his adoption was completely finished and submitted at the end of August, and little did we know at that time, our son was born a few days later!
What contact do you have with your son?
Right now we receive monthly medical updates on T-J and some months we receive a photo of him! Usually, if we mail a package to him and his foster family, they will take a "Thank You Picture" with him and all the goodies we mailed. An emailed photo of our son is our FAVORITE message in our email inbox! We all gather around the computer for the grand opening of the photo! Its awesome!
Is your son in an orphanage?
No, he is not. In S. Korea, the majority of orphans are placed into foster families during their infancy, who care for them until they meet their forever family. Some foster families foster more than one child, as we think might be the case in T-J's foster family, which is great really, so T-J will have the fun of other children around and be ready for his big sister and big brother!
Do you have any contact with the foster family?
Not direct contact at this time, but that would be so nice. We do face a language barrier though. We are eternally grateful to this loving family who is caring for our son. We write letters (which are translated for them) and send gifts to the family to show our love and gratitude, and to share about ourselves with them. We look forward to the day we will meet and have many photos of T-J's foster momma holding him. We pray continually for this family.
Can you go see him? Have you met him?
We actually can go visit him in South Korea, but we have chosen not to do that because 1. the financial cost of traveling there and 2. the soonest that would be an option would be January and we really hope to bring him home soon after January if possible. We have not yet met our son. We mail him packages with photo albums of us and mailed a video of our family so he would get to know our faces and voices.
Why does adoption take so long?
Excellent question! Well, there are MANY steps to adoption. If there are 100 steps to adoption, say 60 of those are pieces of paperwork, and just think each piece of paperwork has to be mailed, filled out, some notarized, mailed again and reviewed, oftentimes by multiple people in different states and in different countries. Much of this paperwork is quite important too, on a federal and international level. So you know how offices work and there's only so much time in the workday to review paperwork, so there's time it takes in moving paperwork and creating files and transporting this paperwork. Another reason adoption takes awhile is the organizational factors. The agency in Korea sets up meeting appointments for the "Gotcha Days" when families meet their children and spend time with the foster family and a translator. These meetings take hours, as they should really, and must be scheduled. Only a few meetings can take place each day and there are hundreds of children who have these meetings a year, which must occur on business days, so logistically, there must be a pace to how fast adoption occurs. Another reason adoption takes time is appointment-making, decision-making, interviews, adoption education classes, getting physicals done, etc.
A human life is being accounted for, and the government is very careful, thorough and official on how this takes place. We are very happy to have the privilege of accounting for this little life.
As for the Emigration Permission Quota, this quota was filled, and this added wait time for T-J to come home unfortunately. It probably added about 2 months times minimum, maybe more. That was discouraging, and a fact we had to accept and still struggle with, as we just long to be with our son and look forward to that blessed day when we will meet!
I'm sure you all grasp the paperwork, logistics, the amount of organization and what not that must go on, and still wonder, why don't they get these children home faster?! It is an excellent question. Its one this Momma asks aloud to the sky now and then. But I am reminded of the many people overseas and here in the U.S. who work tirelessly to help these orphans find homes. And they do try, but there are roadblocks, there are adoption law changes, and not every day is a business day, so time goes by and our little guy grows. When I miss baby, now almost toddler milestones, I'm reminded how my mom said, "But milestones aren't why you're adopting?" And she's right. Man, I'd love to see first steps and watch him build a tower of blocks with great pride in his accomplishment, to feed him baby food and watch him devour a mum mum, to hold his hands at their smallest size, but there is much joy ahead, and we remember, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose who prevails" ~Proverbs 19:21. Thankfully, he knows the best time to bring our family together - we hang onto that!
Where can I read more about South Korea and its policies on adoption?
To read more about the state of domestic and international adoption in Korea, Emigration Quotas, and the new adoption laws, check out MPAK - Mission To Promote Adoption in Korea. This website and the blog share much valuable and current info about the status of adoption in S. Korea. Its mission is to encourage Koreans to adopt domestically and to end "secret adoption" in Korea. But it is not against adoption internationally in that MPAK believes as they state, "As an organization driven by the Christian principles, we believe it is God's will that children have families of their own," yet its mission is to change the state of adoption in the culture of Korea. To read more about the mission of MPAK and adoption in Korean culture (why there are children up for adoption and why so many are adopted internationally as opposed to domestically with openness and why this should change), go to: MPAK
Please let me know if you have more questions about our particular situation or about adoption in S. Korea and worldwide. There are more obvious questions, like this one: Why are you adopting? A great question too, but its a question we hope this blog answers a little bit in every post, as we feel blessed to build our family this way. Thank you for sharing in our adoption journey.
Here's a quote I happened upon on the MPAK site:
"Every Child Deserves a Home of His Own."
- Harry Holt, Founder of the
Holt International Children's Services, Inc.
Harry Holt and his wife Bertha, were busy raising their 6 children on a farm in Creswell, Oregon in 1954, when they saw a film about G.I. babies of the Korean War in orphanages in Korea. Acting upon their faith, they decided to adopt eight children from Korea, and in order for this to happen, it had to pass in both houses of Congress, which it did, resulting in the "Holt Bill". In October 1955, their 8 children arrived at the Portland International airport with Harry Holt. They began helping other families adopt, and this conviction in their hearts to adopt orphans caused an international movement and formed Holt International Children's Services, which has grown immensely, and has a building our son visits each month (check out Holt International Children's Services).
