Its time to reignite this blog. Thoughts just keep coming to my mind and I want to share them. A song will be on the radio and touch my heart so deeply I wonder, do others know about this song because I think these words would help them? So its time to get this blog up and running with the random goings-on of our family, what its like adopting a member of our family, and sharing what God is teaching us, because its all about Him anyway. And I really do want to share - there's just so much I don't know what to focus on and we're so in it right now - adjusting - learning - loving - growing - teaching - figuring things out. I guess I feel like this blog post should be "looking back" but that post will come later, for now this is a reflection and a glimpse into Benny's coming home. So we'll go back 3 1/2 months to our second trip to S. Korea. We traveled in March-April for 10 days to meet Benny twice and appear in family court, then came back to the US and awaited the travel call 2 months later to bring Benny home..............
We are home - 3 1/2 months home with our dear Benny. Our forever family day with Benjamin Tae Ju was June 11, 2014 and it was an amazing day - so much giggling, so many happy tears, and so much joy. Not sure I will ever be able to express what that day was like beyond surreal. After waiting 28 months for this little boy, we met him the lobby of Holt then visited with him and his foster mom, attended his last pediatrician appointment and said a very difficult goodbye to the woman who has been his Omma (Mama) for the past 2 years). We got in the taxi and waited for the tears and fear to start, but he played with us the 20 minutes back to the hotel. Then my belly which could not eat BEFORE the meeting was starving and Adam went to buy sandwiches. Benny and I sat outside waiting for him and he would run around the sidewalk and I wondered, "Will he run away? Will he come back to me? Does he know I'm his mother?" There was so much uncertainty that day as to what was going on his heart and mind, and the following day and on the flight home. There was times of deep sadness, grief, confusion and loss that for me to tap into those moments my stomach suddenly aches. He ached. He said goodbye to his home country and all he knew and joined our family. We asked for his trust. We still do and he is giving it to us. When we think back to our 2 days in S. Korea with Benny, he chatted away to us in Korean, constantly asking, "What's this?" We held him in our arms, on our shoulders, and walked hotel hallways with him. He followed us. He seemed so small looking back now. He was. It was all so new. Though we had loved him for 2 1/2 hours, we didn't know him. And every second we were discovering him and he us - the sounds of our voices, communicating in English and Korean, each other's smells, each other's hair and fingers, learning each other's habits, eyes, faces. He is an animated fellow - you know this if you've met him.
And yet we knew in that first month, Benny wasn't Benny - he was hurting and we got glimpses of his true personality - he's a ham, chatty, incredibly sociable, a follower, adventurous, ready to try new things, fiercely independent and in the same moment fiercely in need of love.
Benny came home on June 13, 2014. We stepped off a 16 hour exhausting flight at JFK - went through Immigration and Benny became a US citizen. Pretty cool huh? That day feels like a million years ago and in the same breath, like yesterday. Benny. Our plane got in at midnight then we drove the 3 hours home and got home at 2 am - yes the math is off, I don't really remember. But I remember introducing this little boy to his home in the middle of the night. So much to discover and take in. So much to see. So much he doesn't know - our home has been filled with his photo for years. He has a room upstairs. He has Christmas presents from 2 years ago and birthday presents. He has a brother and sister and family and friends who are dying to meet him. He is so loved and he is so little - just a little boy with so much changed.
We went to bed as the birds were awaking and chirping and I woke up to the sounds of Annabelle and Oliver and my parents outside trying to get into our locked house. Ha. Aww, sweet sounds - their voices. How I missed them. They wanted to see Benny so much, they peaked in at Benny and Adam sleeping and when Benny woke up he was shy. Everything was new again. And this would happen for the following month or so - the newness of waking up in our home. There's so much to say about this month and our grieving toddler but it was so hard too, that its hard to share, but if you are an adoptive dad or mom about to encounter this, please ask us.
For 2 months Benny was Tae Ju, actually Tae Ju-ah. Benny had to learn his American name and he did in August - he figured it out - probably because we would say it to him ;) but he got it. We weren't pushing it all actually. But it clicked and he started to point to himself and say "Benny" and would point at objects and say they are "Benny's". He still does this everyday. Ha! Poor guy was told this is Annabelle's and this is Oliver's so many times, he was ready to say something was his.
There are so many things to write here that I'm overwhelmed at the thought of it all. I don't even know what to share about our adoption. I'm still processing it all and so is Benny. His whole life has changed and he handled it quite well. His adventurous soul surprised me. I planned for a summer of cocooning and it wasn't at all. We ventured out - he actually seemed happier out and about so we went - to parks, and music concerts, out for ice cream, and to the lake, on boat rides, on hikes, to birthday parties, to church, to a waterpark, camping and we got to bring our children to the ocean this summer (a first!). Isn't that amazing? It was an amazing summer. It was an amazing year. "We went to Seoul twice this year." Adam and I look at each other and say that to each other. We still can't believe it. We look at Benny and say, "We can't believe he's home." Three months later we're still wrapping our heads around it all. And three months later we're still figuring it all out. It has been a transition for everybody and yeah, there's so much more to say and share.
The road was long. Was it worth it? Yes. That's one fear I have - that because our process was so long and bumpy that it will deter others from adoption, but please don't let it. There are so many kids - over 153 million actually - who need families. Yes, life IS bumpy and so are adoption processes, but I'm really glad we walked the road to Benny. Really glad. Really thankful for the little boy sleeping upstairs. It hasn't been easy. Gotta be honest. But parenting isn't and adoption is God's redemption of what's broken. And frankly, God has adopted me and loved me through thick and thin. As for our family our hearts are still getting to know each other - more everyday, the love grows.
Here are some photos from our trip. There's a bazillion more, I just chose a bunch real quick.....ha! I'm a photo-taking addict. I'd say its high time this boy has his photo up on this blog! Here goes....
oh wait, but first - click this song - I heard it 2 years ago on a special show on TV about adoption and its stuck with me. Its kinda been my adoption song for Tae Ju so click and play it for the photos below. Honestly I just wrote this paragraph and the computer went wonky and the screen turned staticky and I lost it. Ugh. But what it say is something to the effect of this is a journey of love. Why do people travel to the opposite of the planet for a child? Why spend 30 hours roundtrip on a plane plus 8 in the car? Why spend so much money and spend years saving then paying and also years saving vacation time? Why give days to paperwork, hours to homestudies and social worker visits? Why wait? We've asked ourselves those questions. Love. For the love of Benny Tae Ju. Because God first loved us. God loves Benny and and God loves us and God loves family. God LOVES family. Love is really strong and God's love sustains us. Love crosses oceans.
Click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9ayN39xmsI
Headed to Seoul aboard Korean Air. We loved Korean Airline - great airline.
Photos from June 12, 2014 - We met up with the great Greg Samborski to snap some shots of Benny in his birth country......... at the Changdeok Palace.
Blessed to meet up with these ladies and their fams in Seoul - I'd like to give a shout-out to fellow adoption mama's Brandi Oatis and Heather Fowler (you girls wear your skirts this summer?)
Heading Home - at Incheon Airport......
AND IN CASE YOU HAVE RUN OUT OF MUSIC - click here: (ANOTHER SONG THAT RESONATED WITH OUR ADOPTION - this is ADAM'S PICK -
Thanks Bridgette for sharing..........)
At JFK - waiting for luggage in the middle of the night.
 |
| Welcome HOME literally Benny! |
A beautiful welcome home sign by Belle and Leanora. Thanks girlies! Annabelle ran upstairs to see her sleeping brother actually IN our house!
He came home as a 2 year old but has now turned 3! Happy 3rd Birthday Benny Tae! Here are a few recent pics of our family!
 |
| Oh Gim, how I love thee. |
 |
| Birthday Dinner - I made the same exact meal I made for his birthday last year, only this year he was here to taste it and he loved it - Bulgogi and Bimbimbap! |
And a final shot. I took the first pic 2 years ago when we celebrated his 1st birthday though we weren't together so obviously it was time we did a picture-retake!
 |
| 2012 |
 | ||
| 2014 |
No comments:
Post a Comment